Leg cramps hurt, but they tend to pass. More permanent: losing your teeth to a hockey puck. The Miami Heat player was hobbled by cramps in Game Four of the NBA Finals Tuesday night. Since hating on Lebron James is a more popular national pastime than the four major sports combined, he became the target for several NHL players who…well, frankly, we expected better burns than these, guys. As comedians, you make great hockey players.
Read on to see what they said.
I was born in Washington D.C., I spent my childhood there, and there are many things to recommend about our nation’s capital. The monuments, the free museums, the cherry trees, and if there’s a sports game, in any form, running that day, you’ll be able to get tickets for twenty bucks, because the teams all blow.
Well, they did blow, anyway. Lately something strange has been happening.
The Kentucky Derby is on the horizon, which means it’s time for the 1 percent to dust off their hats, put on their finest dresses and watch the midgets they hired to race on overpriced and obsolete animals. For the rest of us, it’s a day to gamble on something we don’t understand at all (like the stock market) and to pretend we like mint juleps. So, in honor of derby day, we compiled the top five sports for rich people.
Sports memorabilia has always had a special place in the hearts of sports fanatics. These game-time artifacts maps our teams’ struggles to win, to become champions, to give us those all-important bragging rights at the office when Brian from the sales department has been running his mouth off about his team being in the midst of a dynasty run.
There’s also no better way to remember, and lord it over Brian from sales, than with the ball that won the game, autographed by whoever threw/caught/kicked/ate that ball. Such relics are placed on desks and fireplace mantels around the world. Unfortunately, millions of other sports-loving fanatics have the same idea.
This week marks the most anxiety-ridden time on the calendar of professional football. Team scouts and management gather to decide whether or not to mortgage their future on a prolific draft prospect, show belief in their current team by trading away their top slots, or just taking whatever players they have coming to them and hope for the best. Fans will live and die by their teams’ selections. College players will stand by, praying that their name is called.
Yes, it’s 2012 NFL Draft, and sports analysts are mocking up selections like it’s gospel. But how does history treat these draft prospects?